Thank You, 2017

This year for me represents a period of great insight and mental clarity. It signifies my break-through, my ‘Aha!’ moment. It’s the year that I went from severe depression to irrepressible joy. The year of an austere paradox – where I spent every minute of my living day laboring for love, serving DS and my pregnant wife with practically every mental and physical need. As night falls and when they’re both asleep, I plot my escape, no matter how sleepy and debilitated I might be – researching NPD, journaling, and organizing evidence against W. Continue reading “Thank You, 2017”

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My Metamorphosing Mind

I have always strived to understand my predicament, but in vain. Even if I would want to talk to someone about this, I wouldn’t know how to explain it – both, W’s behavior as well as my helplessness. Gradually over the last 10 years, my understanding of W has evolved; I’ve changed labels dozens of times. Should I just come to terms with being labeled as ‘Henpecked’, should I call her a ‘Psychopath’, maybe we as a couple are just ‘Different’ – there was this continuous dialogue in my head. Continue reading “My Metamorphosing Mind”

Tainting Time with Temper

As far back as I can remember, W has always thrown a fit of rage on special dates. Birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving, any festival, first day of a new job, vacations, parties at home, almost any day that is looked forward to. I had my birthday last week and as sure as gravity, there was an episode [RS:9] for the rest of the week. This has happened without fail for the last 10 years. Over something trivial, she starts to yell, hit and let all hell loose.  Continue reading “Tainting Time with Temper”

The Narcissist Thief

W has always been extremely close-fisted when it comes to money. However, over the past 10 years of knowing her I’ve seen her go from being frugal to downright thieving. I’m not sure if she was simply covert about this or if her habits gradually changed into thievery. As always, she has made me enable this part of her life too. This post is to outline all the stealing that she does on a regular basis.  Continue reading “The Narcissist Thief”

The Slave Spouse

Last night, I was woken up by W thrice with demands for a ‘sip of water’, from the water-bottle on her side of the bed just an arms length away from her. She wanted me to hold it up to her lips so that she can take a sip. It was an urgent demand, so I got up, walked over to her side and delivered. There is nothing wrong with her and is physically fully capable. My life has become an extension of W, and this for her implies that I do things for her Continue reading “The Slave Spouse”

Exasperation

I have been reading up on symptoms of this situation and I am thoroughly astounded by how much my situation is a ‘textbook example’. It really is a classic case of an NPD person and victim. As I read into the finer details, traits, the most common reactions and responses to personality disordered behavior, I can’t help but feel this intense exasperation over and over again. I am in disbelief of how naive, foolish and gullible I have been.  Continue reading “Exasperation”